I don’t really have a technique for writing comedy… usually, I just hope something “comes to me” and the weird thing is -when it does, it is usually much more entertaining than anything I could have possibly sat down and intentionally wrote… which is why I only have approximately 90 seconds of material that is actually funny.
I wish I knew where this stuff comes from… I wish I could some how harness this mystical source of funny and be the next Gallagher of the comedy world, but alas it appears the powers that be are running short on really hilarious dick jokes.
However, after some research -I have discovered I am not the first to communicate directly with higher intelligences… I am just the first to channel that energy into really mediocre jokes about weed.
For example, in the summer of 1973, Robert Anton Wilson came into contact with a higher intelligence residing somewhere near The Dog Star, Sirius. This higher intelligence communicated with him as direct thoughts that appeared in his mind and via subtle serendipitous occurrences throughout his daily routine which were too meaningful to have been attributed to coincidence. Unfortunately, nothing of much substance was ever communicated to Wilson that we know of, but at the very least -the idea that someone or something was attempting to communicate with him seemed unmistakable at the time.
Or he was completely batshit insane. You be the judge.
For what it’s worth, Wilson never really made up his own mind about this time period in his life.
“On 23 July 1973, I had the impression that I was being contacted by some sort of advanced intellect from the system of the double star Sirius. I have had odd psychic experiences of that sort for many years, and I always record them carefully, but refuse to take any of them literally, until or unless supporting evidence of an objective nature turns up. This particular experience, however, was especially staggering, both intellectually and emotionally, so I spent the rest of the day at the nearest large library researching Sirius. I found, among other things, that 23 July is very closely associated with that star.
On 23 July, ancient Egyptian priests began a series of rituals to Sirius, continuing until 8 September. Since Sirius is known as the “Dog Star”, being in the constellation Canis Major, the period 23 July – 8 September became known as “the dog days”.
Coincidence? Synchronicity? Higher Intelligence? Higher Idiocy?”
-Robert Anton Wilson on his possible communications with a higher intelligence
Dr. Robert Anton Wilson
A few years later, Dr. Timothy Leary was serving a prison sentence for the possession of marijuana and evading justice. He was considered by some to be “the most dangerous man in America” and for some unfathomable reason, Robert Anton Wilson was one of the few people that was actually allowed to visit the good doctor during his incarceration.
Perhaps not surprisingly, Wilson rarely mentioned the whole “communication with a higher intelligence” thing to his peers. Yet, Dr. Leary was able to ascertain this information merely through the power of observation during one of Wilson’s visits. How did Leary know? Well you see, he too was in communication with a higher intelligence, but unlike Wilson -he was able to glean some measure of useful information from these communications. He called these, The Starseed Transmissions and they were full of all sorts of useful information about consciousness and the function and purpose of life in general.
It just so happens, Robert Anton Wilson had something else in common with the good doctor Leary. Wilson also held a PhD in psychology. Had these two highly intelligent individuals with an extensive background in psychology and mental illness gone completely insane? Were they somehow sharing the same delusion without collaborating or even realizing it? Or were they both actually communicating with a higher intelligence?
If it helps, Leary -like all other inmates who had been incarcerated at Folsom prison during this time, had undergone a thorough psychiatric evaluation upon admission. This evaluation declared the good doctor, “abundantly and radiantly sane”. Of course, Dr. Leary had also assisted with the development of these personality profile tests, so perhaps he was just faking it.
Dr. Timothy Leary thoroughly enjoying his arrest by the DEA
For what it’s worth, this idea of communicating with a higher intelligence is not new. In fact, the idea has been around since the dawn of consciousness. For example, the Egyptians called it “ka”… the Greeks called it “Daemon”… the Hindus called it, “Atman”… and the Gnostics called it “gnosis”, taken from a Greek word, meaning knowledge. Only this wasn’t your typical knowledge. This was a special knowledge gained only through direct communication with a higher intelligence. Everyone it seems, has been familiar with this idea in some form or another for quite some time.
Unfortunately however, the creepy Jesus Cult was gaining popularity right around the same time the Gnostics were communicating directly with their God(s) and before you knew it, you couldn’t swing a dead cat in the cradle of civilization without hitting a “Christian” in the face and all the Gnostics were being burned at the stake -mostly for this idea that they were somehow instruments of God.
This is also about the time most people in Christian lands stopped talking about the whole “communication with a higher intelligence” thing until Dr. Robert Anton Wilson and Dr. Timothy Leary had their conversation about it in the basement of Folsom prison almost three thousand years later.
But, much like sex with houseplants -just because nobody talked about it, doesn’t mean nobody did it. In fact, at the turn of the twentieth century -almost 70 years prior to Wilson and Leary’s discovery, a man by the name of Aleister Crowley thought this whole “communication with a higher intelligence” thing sounded down right reasonable after he read a book entitled, “The Book of the Sacred Magic of Abramelin the Mage”. In this book, a rather lengthy ritual for conjuring up a higher intelligence is described in great detail.
Crowley attempted this ritual twice in his life and came away convinced of his success at contacting a higher intelligence on both occasions. On the second occasion, this higher intelligence dictated a book to Crowley which he later called, “The Book of The Law”. This book gave a sort of poetic overview of consciousness and the function and purpose of life in general and was to become the basis for Crowley’s occult fraternity “The Ordo Templi Orientis”. Crowley was so moved by the experience, he would go on to suggest this was the first and foremost singular goal of any OTO initiate. He called this “Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel”.
“It should never be forgotten for a single moment that the central and essential work of the Magician is the attainment of the Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel. Once he has achieved this he must of course be left entirely in the hands of that Angel, who can be invariably and inevitably relied upon to lead him to the further great step—crossing of the Abyss and the attainment of the grade of Master of the Temple.”
-Aleister Crowley
Aleister Crowley… not a doctor.
Roughly ten years after Crowley’s Knowledge and Conversation, a Swiss psychoanalyst by the name of Carl Jung was crossing his own Abyss and attaining the grade of Master of the Temple. Only, he didn’t put it that way -he referred to it as “a psychotic break from reality”.
Jung’s doctor self told him he was suffering from the onset of schizophrenia, but his mystic self told him to just go with it and see where it takes him. Over the next 16 years, Jung would communicate with a higher intelligence in regards to all manner of topics relative to consciousness and the function and purpose of life in general. Like Crowley before him and Leary after him, Dr. Jung wrote these conversations down in a book that later came to be called, The Red Book.
This was one of the most productive periods of Jung’s life and during this time he formulated ideas that are now considered by many to be the foundations of modern psychology. For the most part, Jung kept these communications with a higher intelligence a secret to all but his closest friends and family. For this reason, the Red Book was not seen by more than perhaps two dozen people until 2009 -48 years after Jung’s death. Curiously though, Jung did publish and share one piece of wisdom imparted upon him by this higher intelligence prior to his death. This was called “Septem Sermones Ad Mortuos” or “Seven Sermons to The Dead” and oddly enough, was attributed by Jung to Basilides a gnostic saint.
I also can’t help but notice that Jung had a PhD in psychology -just like Leary and Wilson. Does studying psychology make you go crazy?
“The years … when I pursued the inner images were the most important time of my life. Everything else is to be derived from this. It began at that time, and the later details hardly matter anymore. My entire life consisted in elaborating what had burst forth from the unconscious and flooded me like an enigmatic stream and threatened to break me. That was the stuff and material for more than only one life.
Everything later was merely the outer classification, the scientific elaboration, and the integration into life. But the numinous beginning, which contained everything, was then.”
-Carl Jung
Dr. Carl Jung
… and of course, perhaps it’s no stretch to suggest that this sort of thing is the same goal all these dirty hippy types with their pipes full of DMT and strange grasses grown on the African plains and ordered over the Internet are after. After all, these trip reports are rife with visits to “extra-terrestrial beings” who attempt to impart some sort of timeless wisdom that is unfortunately lost to the stupor of intoxication.
Perhaps they’re doing it wrong. Put down the pipe, hippy and perhaps you too will pen your very own Book of The Law then start your own cult after becoming fully self-actualized and possessing the secret knowledge of all ages.
Either way, this sort of thing is still open for debate. After all, this is just the short list of influential people throughout history who have claimed to have established some sort of communication with a higher intelligence.
… genuine portal to a higher plane of consciousness? … insane ramblings of madmen and drug fiends? … humankind’s own innate connection to the gods?
I don’t really have a point or opinion on the matter… I’m just sayin’ people be talkin’ to higher intelligences and shit… wtf?